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Soldier: (runs out of room) SIR! SIR! Pinkies's going nuts! She killed five of the prisoners, shot the dicks off of three, and cartel interrogated the rest! There's blood, piss, shit, and semen everywhere!!!!
Me: OK, OK, calm down. I'll check it out. It's probably not even that bad. (walks in to the scene exactly as described) JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!! Call Arkham's tactical unit! Load every .50-cal with tranquilizer rounds! Raise base alert to DEFCON -10! Go, go, go!!!!